therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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