@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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