she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
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