Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
