Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
