She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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