Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
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