my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize