is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
