i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Randomize
