Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
