love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
