i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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