hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Boobs are out for the taking
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I need water and some morals
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
