so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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