You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
