matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
