If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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