make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Be still, my beating vagina.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
