Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Randomize
