So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
