yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
