My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize