who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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