zippers are such a cool invention
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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