return my video game
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I AM VODKA MAN
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
