Sorry, I don't speak sober.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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