yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize