Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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