operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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