she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
