Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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