Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
