We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
