Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
