I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
