no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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