her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
