im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
