Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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