everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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