I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
