Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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