I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
