...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Is it because I queefed?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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