Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
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