I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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