you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Randomize
