We got so high we made milksteak
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize