Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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