If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
