Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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