just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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