Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
