just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
