I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Randomize
