I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
