things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
