I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
