Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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