Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
