Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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