he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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