hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Randomize
